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Parent Resource

Good Health and Physical Well-Being
Young children need nutritious food, enough sleep, safe places to play, and regular medical care. These things help children get a good start in life and lessen the chances that they will later have serious health problems or trouble learning. Good health for children begins before birth with good prenatal care. It continues after birth with a balanced diet. School-aged children can concentrate better in class if they eat nutritionally balanced meals. These should include breads, cereals, and other grains products, fruits, vegetables, meat, poultry, fish, beans, and dairy products. Avoid too many saturated fats and sweets.

Pre-schoolers require regular medical and dental check-ups and immunisations. It's important to find a doctor or a clinic where children can receive routine health care as well as special treatment if they are sick or injured. Children need immunisations beginning around the age of two months to prevent diseases such as measles, mumps, diphtheria, tetanus, whooping cough, Hib (a type of influenza), polio, and tuberculosis. These diseases can have serious effects on physical and mental development. Regular dental check-ups should begin at the latest by the age of three.

Pre-schoolers need opportunities to exercise and develop muscle co-ordination. To learn to control large muscles, children need to throw balls, run, jump, climb, and dance to music. To learn to control small muscles, particularly in the hands and fingers, they need to colour with crayons, put together puzzles and use blunt-tipped scissors. In kindergarten, they will build upon these skills.

Social and Emotional Preparation
Young children are often very excited about entering school. But when they do, they can face an environment that is different from what they are used to at home or even in pre-school. In kindergarten, your child will need to work well in large groups and get along with new adults and other children. He will have to share the teacher's attention with other youngsters. The classroom routines may also be different.

Most young children do not start school with good social skills or much emotional maturity. These things take time and practice to learn. However, children improve their chances for success in kindergarten if they have had opportunities to begin developing these qualities:

Confidence: Children must learn to feel good about themselves and believe they can succeed. Confident children are more willing to attempt new tasks-- and try again if they do not succeed the first time.
Independence: Children need to learn to do things for themselves
Motivation: Children must want to learn.
Curiosity: Children are naturally curious and must remain so in order to get the most out of learning opportunities.
Persistence: Children must learn to finish what they start.
Co-operation: Children must be able to get along with others and learn to share and take turns.
Self-control: Children must understand that some behaviours, such as hitting and biting, are inappropriate. They need to learn that there are good and bad ways to express anger.
Empathy: Children must learn to have an interest in others and understand how others feel.

Parents, even more than child-care centres and good schools, help children develop these skills. Here are some ways that you can help your child acquire these skills:

Set a good example: Children imitate what they see others do and what they hear others say. When parents exercise and eat nourishing food, their children are more likely to do so. When parents treat others with respect, their children probably will too. If parents share things, their children will learn to be thoughtful of others' feelings.
Have a positive attitude: Children come into this world with a powerful need to discover and to explore. As parents, you need to encourage this curiosity if your child is going to keep it. Enthusiasm for what your child does helps to make her proud of her achievements. Children also become excited about school when their parents show excitement. Talk about exciting activities, such as going on field trips, and making fun art projects. Be enthusiastic as you describe what she will learn in school, such as how to read.
Provide opportunities for repetition: It takes practice to learn to crawl, pronounce new words, or drink from a cup. Repeating things until they are learned helps youngsters build the confidence needed to try something new.
Use appropriate discipline: All children need to have limits set for them. Children whose parents give firm but loving discipline are generally more skilled socially and do better in school than children whose parents set too few or too many limits. Here are some tips

Direct your child's activities, but don't make unnecessary restrictions or try to dominate.
Offer reasons when asking your child to do something. For example, say, "Please move your truck off the stairs so no one trips over it," instead of, "Move it because I said so."
Listen to your child to find out how he feels and whether he needs any special support.
Show love and respect even when you are angry. Criticise your child's behaviour, not your child.
Help your child make choices and work out problems.
Be positive and encouraging. Praise your child for a job well done. Smiles and encouragement go much further to shape good behaviour than harsh punishment.

Let your child do things alone. Young children need to be closely watched, but they learn to be independent and to develop confidence by doing tasks such as dressing themselves and putting their toys away. It's also important to let your child make choices, rather than deciding everything for her. Remember to give her a choice only when there really is one.
Encourage your child to play with others. Pre-schoolers need these social opportunities to learn how to see the point of view of others. Young children are more likely to get along with teachers and classmates if they have already had experiences with different adults and children.

Language and General Knowledge

Young children participate in many activities that require them to use language and to solve problems. Children who can't or don't communicate easily may have problems in school. There are many things you can do to help your child learn to communicate, solve problems, and develop an understanding of the world. You can:

Answer questions your child asks: Also ask him/her questions, particularly ones that require more than a "yes" or "no" response. While walking in a park, for example, most two and three-year-olds will stop to pick up leaves. You might point out how the leaves are the same, or how they are different. Questions can help children learn to compare and classify things. Answer your child's questions thoughtfully, and whenever possible, encourage her to answer his/her own questions. If you don't know the answer to a question, say so. Then, together with your child, try to find the answer.
Evaluate your child's abilities and interests, and be realistic: Children usually do best in school when parents estimate their abilities correctly. As parents, you must set high standards and encourage your pre-schooler to try new things. Children who aren't challenged become bored, but ones who are pushed along too quickly, or are asked to do things that don't interest them, can become frustrated and unhappy.
Give your child opportunities to play: Play is how children learn. It is the natural way for them to explore, to become creative, and to develop academic and social skills. Play helps your child learn to solve problems--for example, if his wagon tips over, he must figure out how to get it upright again. Children learn about balance, geometry, and shapes when they stack blocks. Playing with others also helps children learn how to negotiate.
Listen to your child: Children have their own special thoughts and feelings, joys and sorrows, hopes and fears. As her language skills develop, encourage her to talk. Listening is the best way to learn what is on your child's mind and to discover what she knows and doesn't know, and how she thinks and learns. Listening also shows your child that her feelings and ideas are valuable.
Make reading materials available to your child: Children develop an interest in language and reading much sooner if they have books and other reading materials around their homes.
Monitor your child's television viewing: Next to parents, television may be our children's most influential teacher. Good television can introduce children to new worlds and promote learning, but poor or too much T.V. can be harmful.
Provide opportunities for your child to do and see things: The more varied the experiences that children have, the more they learn about the world. No matter where you live, your community can provide new experiences. Go for walks in your neighborhood, or go places on the bus. Visit museums, libraries, zoos, grocery stores, and other community resources. If you live in the city, spend a day in the country, (or vice versa). Let your child hear and make music, dance, and paint. Let him participate in activities that help develop his imagination and allow him to express ideas and feelings.
Read aloud to your child daily: You can begin when she is a baby and continue on throughout the pre-school years. Even though she may not understand the story or poem, reading together gives your child a chance to learn about language, enjoy the sound of your voice, and be close to you. You don't have to be an excellent reader for your child to enjoy this time together. You may also want to take your child to a local library that offers special story hours.
Talk to your child, beginning at birth: Babies need to hear your voice. A television or radio can't take the place of a parent because it doesn't respond to coos and babbles. The more you talk to your baby, the more he will have to talk about as he gets older. Talking with children broadens their understanding of language and of the world. Every day activities, such as eating dinner or taking a bath, provide opportunities to talk about and respond to what is happening to your child.

Bed Wetting (Enuresis)

What is Enuresis?

The medical name for bed-wetting or sleep wetting is nocturnal (night time) enuresis (say: en-yuh-ree-sis) - “the involuntary passing of urine beyond the age of anticipated control” It refers to those children who wet their beds after the time when most children are dry at night. It’s like the development of walking- some children walk at nine months, others not until fifteen or sixteen months. The range of onset of a skill like walking is guided by family history and individual maturity of the nerves and muscles that control balance & movement.

It is not surprising that the bladder acts the same way. The bladder is a hollow cavity made from a muscle wall. For a child to be dry at night, the bladder muscle must relax to allow more urine to accumulate while a tiny muscle (called the bladder sphincter) at the end of the bladder tightens. This process of muscle relaxation and tightening keeps urine in the bladder at night until the child awakens, goes to the bathroom and urinates. Enuresis is a common condition in children. It’s also a very stressful one for parents and children alike. For the child wetting the bed, it’s often a major embarrassment. For parents, there may a mixture of annoyance and sometimes a little anger. They wonder if bed-wetting is done on purpose or because of laziness.

Most children begin to stay dry at night around 3 years of age. When a child has a problem with bed wetting after that age, parents may become concerned. Millions of kids and teenagers from every part of the world wet the bed every single night. Most kids don’t tell their friends, so it is easy to feel kind of alone, like you might be the only one on the whole planet who wets the bed. But you are not alone.

The most important thing to remember is that, no one wets the bed on purpose. It doesn’t mean that you are lazy or a slob. It’s something you can’t help doing. For some reason, kids who wet the bed are not able to feel that their bladder is full and don’t wake up to go to the toilet. Sometimes a kid who wets the bed will have a realistic dream that he is in the bathroom urinating – only to wake later and discover he is all wet. Many kids who wet the bed are very deep sleepers.

Physicians stress that enuresis is not a diseases, but a symptom, and a fairly common one. Occasional accidents may occur, particularly when the child is ill.

What causes bed-wetting?
No one exactly knows why children wet the bed – there may be many reasons. Some of the causes of bed-wetting include the following.

Genetic Factors – Enuresis runs in families. This means that if you urinate, while you are asleep, there is a a good chance that a close relative also did it when he or she was a kid. Just like you may have inherited your mom’s blue eyes or your uncle’s long legs, you probably inherited bed wetting too.

Difficulties waking up from sleep – trying to wake up someone who wets the bed is often like trying to wake a log – they just stay asleep.

Slower than normal development of the central nervous system – this reduces the child’s ability to stop the bladder from emptying at night.

Hormonal factors – normally, urine production at night is less than daytime, under the influence of a hormone called ADH (anti diuretic hormone). It is suspected that children who wet their beds do not have enough ADH at night.

Urinary tract infections

Abnormalities in the urethral valves in boys or in the urethra in girls or boys.

Abnormalities in the spinal cord

Inability to hold urine for a long time because of small bladder.

Emotional factors – when a young child begins bedwetting after several months or years of dryness during the night, this may reflect new fears of insecurities. This may follow changes or events, which make the child, feel insecure: moving to a new environment, losing a family member or loved one, or especially the arrival of a new baby or child in the home. Sometimes bed wetting occurs after a period of dryness because the child’s original toilet training was too stressful.

Bed-wetting isn’t caused by drinking too much before bedtime. It’s not a mental or behavior problem. It doesn’t happen because the child is too lazy to get out of bed to go to the bathroom. And children do not wet the bed on purpose or to irritate their parents.

When do most children achieve bladder control?
Children achieve bladder control at different ages. By the age of 5 years most children no longer urinate in their sleep. Bed wetting up to the age of 5 is not unusual, even though it may be frustrating to parents. Treating a child for bedwetting before the age of 5 is not necessary and may even be harmful to the child.

Parental Role

Don’t worry.
Help your child not to feel bad.
Explain bed-wetting to your child.
Deal with practical problems.
Consider using disposable padded absorbent pads.
Make access to the lavatory easy.
‘Lifting’.
Encourage our child to drink plenty during the day.
Don’t restrict drinks in the evening.
Help your child to train his or her bladder.
Try a ‘star chart’ if your child is 9 years or older.
Discuss the problem with your doctor.

Don’t worry about bed-wetting if your child is under 6 years– just be patient.

Help your child not to feel bad about bed-wetting. Smelly bedrooms and lots of sheets to change and wash are annoying, but try to keep a calm. It is important not to make your child feel guilty about something he or she can’t control. Bed-wetting is a great worry to children – they often feel that they are being babyish or dirty. To punish a child for a wet bed will to help and isn’t fair. Encourage the children take responsibility by helping with the wet sheets. This is not a punishment; rther children will often feel better by helping with the cleanup process.

Explain bed-wetting to your child. Explain how common it is, and that there will certainly be other children of the same age in his or her class with the same problem. Explain that he or she will grow out of it in time, and that you are finding out ways to make this happen faster. (In fact, it is not strictly true that all children grow out of it – but most do.) If you used to bed-wet, tell your child about it.

How to explain bed-wetting to your child?
The US National Kidney Foundation suggests you explain bed-wetting in the following way. Tell your child it is the kidney’s job to make urine, which goes down tubes into the bladder. The bladder is like a water balloon that holds the urine. There is a muscle gate that holds the urine in. When the bladder is full, it sends a message to the brain and the brain tells the gate to open. Tell your child that, in order to be the boss of his or her urine at night, all the parts need to work together.

Deal with practical problems. Think up ways of dealing with practical problems. Obtain waterproof mattress covers, for example: children who bed-wet are fearful of sleeping at other children’s houses. To deal with this difficulty, buy your child some pajamas and a washable (polyester) sleeping bag for sleepovers. Ideally, look for a child-sized bag (easier to wash) with a waterproof exterior. Tell your child to put his or her day clothes close by at night then, in the morning, it is simple to kick off the wet pajama bottoms into the damp sleeping bag, quickly get dressed without anyone noticing the problem, and roll up the sleeping bag with the pajamas inside ready for washing at home.

Consider using disposable padded absorbent pads. They are designed to be worn under baggy pajamas or a nightdress, and don’t look like nappies (diapers). They obviously will not solve the problem, but are useful for holidays or if you are becoming very stressed by wet beds.

Make access to the lavatory easy. Make it easy for your child to get to the lavatory. Pajama bottoms should be easy to get off. Provide a plug-in nightlight to guide your child to the bedroom door. Leave a landing light on – your child may be afraid of the dark. Provide a potty in the bedroom if the bathroom is far away. And remember, sleeping in a top bunk makes getting to the lavatory difficult.

‘Lifting’ your child to the lavatory, and encouraging him or her to pass some urine, before you go to bed (for instance, at about 11o’clock) won’t prevent a wet bed. However, it will slightly reduce the amount of urine that is released.

Encourage your child to drink plenty during the day –at least six drinks. This helps train the bladder to hold larger quantities, and will prevent excessive drinking in the evening. Check that the school provides access to drinks during the day.

Don’t restrict drinks in the evening – this does not help. If your child seems to be drinking a lot in the evening it may be because he or she is not drinking enough in the day, so the best approach is to encourage daytime drinking. It makes sense to restrict cola drinks, because these contain caffeine, which can make bladder control more difficult.

Help your child to train his or her bladder. Explain that the bladder is like a balloon, and needs to be stretched. This will help to make it strong, so that t urine is easier to control. Once a day (twice a day at weekends), encourage him or her to drink a lot, and then hang on until bursting and then a few minutes if possible. This will only work if your child understands what he or she is trying to do, and if you have an encouraging and slightly laid-back attitude. Don’t get angry if your child finds hanging on difficult.

Try a ‘star chart’ if your child is 9 years or older. You will need some stick-on stars, and a calendar that has a large space for each day. If you don’t have a suitable calendar, make a chart, or obtain one from ERIC. Each morning, your child sticks a star on the calendar if the bed has been dry. If the bed was wet, leave the space blank. If the bed has been dry for 3 nights in a row, he or she can add a special colour star (such as red or gold).

Think of the star chart as a way of rewarding successes (even if they are very few), rather than a record of failures. So don’t make any fuss about the ‘wet’ mornings, but praise your child on a ‘dry’ morning when the star can be applied. If after a few weeks there are no dry nights, stop using the chart – if you continue, your child may start to feel a failure. Simply tell him or her that you will start the chart again in a few months time.

Discuss the problem with your doctor. You should see your doctor if:

The problem is really getting to you, and you are starting to feel angry with your child.
Your child seems upset about the bed-wetting or about other problems, such as school
Your child is aged 7 or over – at this age a bed-wetting alarm may be helpful
Your child also wets during the day, or seems to have a feeble urine stream
Your child has any other health problems, or is not growing as quickly as other children.

Starting Pre-school with Joy not Tears
Starting pre-school, or kindergarten is an important milestone in your child’s educational journey. Children attending a ‘before-school’ setting have the advantage of participating in group learning experiences and centre routines and of extending their social network beyond the family.

For parents, the most important aspect about supporting your child’s transition to pre-school is to be positive about the experience. There will be new routines to be learned, expectations will differ from home and children naturally feel a little apprehensive about what they do not know.

Children will take their cue as to how to react to this anxiety from your response. Reassure your child that the teacher is there to assist them. Share the teacher’s name with your child so that they begin to build a relationship with this new adult in their lives. Talk positively about the new things that will be available at the pre-school (e.g. the painting easels; the outdoor playground). (Please don’t tell your child that the teacher will scold them - this builds a picture of a scary person for the child and most pre-school teachers dread the comment).

For those children who have not ventured away from home before, they need support to understand the routine of going to pre-school and then coming back home later. Young children have little concept about time, so when they first attend, the time spent away from home seems very long. If the child is resting in the afternoon, they do not know that the rest period is short, or that they will go home later - many children feel they are at pre-school for the night! Talk with your child’s teacher about the routine and then talk with your child about their day to assist them to ‘anchor’ the day’s experiences e.g. you will play out in the playground, then have snack, then play indoors for a while and sing some songs and then I will come to fetch you.

Some little ones are very sad when you leave - the bond that they have with you is very strong and it is natural that they worry that you are leaving them behind (you may also feel anxious about leaving your child). Many pre-schools accommodate a policy whereby you stay until your child is ready for you to leave. For those settings that ask that you leave, it is important to indicate to your child that you are going and will be back. You need to then decisively go. If children sense your indecision, it will not help them to settle.

Please never say you are going and then pop back to see how things are going in the classroom. This really unsettles your child and can prolong the point of separation. It is much better to go and if YOU feel anxious to ring the school and ask the teacher to offer you feedback as to how your child is settling. Similarly, please do not ‘sneak’ away when you believe your child has settled. It is very important in terms of maintaining trust with your child and for the child to be able to develop trust in the teacher, that you inform the child that you are leaving and say goodbye. It helps children too if you can establish a ‘farewell’ routine in the morning e.g. if you and your child, every morning place belongings away, say hello to the teacher, choose an experience to share e.g. do a puzzle together and then you say goodbye and go. A consistent routine will assist the child to mentally prepare for the next step.

Talk with your child’s teacher about her suggestions e.g. many teachers ask that you bring a photograph of the family, so that the child can re-connect with you during the day; some parents might leave e.g. a set of keys (or something relevant to the child) to assure the child that you are coming back. Children need time and understanding to make the break. Be patient, talk a lot about the new friends the child is making and stay in close contact with the teacher during this settling period.

It greatly assists children if they are familiar with the physical setting of their new pre-school. The Director of the pre-school will generally introduce you and your child to these aspects as part of your orientation visit. Many children will also have the benefit of having an older sibling in the setting and may have visited the school for various events.

Help children to develop realistic expectations about their first few days. Children are often very excited about their new pre-school and many believe because they are at a ‘big school’ that they will automatically develop these abilities e.g. learning to read. Help children understand that their teacher will help them to learn many things.

Most importantly, be positive. Expect that children will need time and understanding during this period. It is important for children to know that there are strong connections between home and school and that all the adults in his/her life (parents and teachers) are working together to support them.

Children develop at different rates, and most children are more advanced in some areas than in others. There is no one quality or skill that is most important, but a combination of things will contribute to children's success. These include good health, physical well-being, social and emotional maturity, language skills, an ability to solve problems and think creatively, and general knowledge about the world.

Being ready for school depends partly on what the school expects. One school may think it is very important for children to sit quietly and know the alphabet, while another may believe it is more important for children to get along well with others. You will want to visit your child's school to learn what the teachers and principal expect, and discuss any areas of disagreement.

Schools may have different priorities, but most educators agree that the following areas are important for success: good health and physical well-being, social and emotional preparation, and language and general knowledge.